It’s a scary day at McDonald’s. Venom is terrorizing the restaurant’s patrons…
Grrr...I'm hungry, and I need some fries!!
Meanwhile, Spider-Man’s spider-sense is tingling…
Hmm...my spider-sense is tingling...must be trouble.
Swinging into action, Spider-Man sees Venom and the showdown begins…
Alright, Venom! Knock it off! Let these people eat in peace!
Spider-Man! You fiend! I want fries!
I've got fries...and a knuckle sandwhich...in the background...
Spider-Man...that joke was lame! I'll leave...just so you'll stop the ridiculous jokes!
HA-HA! Victory...is mine!
So, patrons of the neighborhood McDonald’s are safe from the terrifying Venom, courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
The End.
This has been a production of Lameass Comics.
Original Article Clipping
This used to be a tradition for my old blog (2004-2006), that I would post this story during the Holidays.
Eight-year-old Virginia O’Hanlon wrote a letter to the editor of New York’s Sun, and the quick response was printed as an unsigned editorial Sept. 21, 1897. The work of veteran newsman Francis Pharcellus Church has since become history’s most reprinted newspaper editorial, appearing in part or whole in dozens of languages in books, movies, and other editorials, and on posters and stamps.
DEAR EDITOR:
I am 8 years old.
Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
Papa says, ‘If you see it in THE SUN it’s so.’
Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?VIRGINIA O’HANLON.
115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET.
Here’s the editor’s response, which is currently the adorable marketing campaign for Macy’s…
VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You may tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
May this time of year be truly magical for you. Believe. 
Green Goblin
Real Name: Norman Osborn
Current Alias: Green Goblin
Affiliation: Thunderbolts; Former leader of the Sinister Twelve, partner of Mendell Stromm, Crime Master, employer of the Enforcers
Characteristics
Gender: Male
Height: 5′ 11″
Weight: 185 lbs (84 kg)
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Auburn
Status
Citizenship: American
Marital Status: Widower
Occupation: Government-appointed director of the Thunderbolts, professional criminal, owner of Osborn Industries and Oscorp; former owner of the Daily Bugle.
Origin
Origin: Injecting himself with a chemical formula to increase strength and intelligence, Obsborn becomes the Green Goblin as well as criminally insane.
Place of Birth: Hartford, Connecticut
First Appearance
Amazing Spider-Man #14, (July, 1964)
Biography
Norman Osborn was just a child when he first became obsessed with acquiring wealth and power. His father was an inventor whose business failed. Claiming that he had been swindled out of his inventions and personal fortune, Amberson Osborn took out his rage on his son. Norman realized that he couldn’t depend on his father for financial security, so he began working after school and saving every cent he earned. He wouldn’t allow himself to become another failure like his father. Norman studied chemistry and electrical engineering in college. He also took a number of courses in business adminstration. One of his teachers was Professor Mendel Stromm. They became good friends and later formed a business partnership. Since Norman put up the bulk of the financing, they called their company Osborn Chemical, or Oscorp.
Norman married his college sweetheart and they had a son, Harry. Unfortunately, his wife became ill. After she died, Norman buried himself in his work and rarely had time for young Harry. As the brilliant co-owner of a chemical manufacturer known as Oscorp, Norman Osborn, loving wealth and power, decided to take control and had his partner Stromm arrested when he found he was committing embezzlement, granting him complete control over the company and making Norman the official CEO of Oscorp. While going through Stromm’s notes, he found a secret formula that would make him superhumanly powerful. However, his son, Harry, who was tired of always being ignored and rejected by his father, switched the chemicals in the serum, which turned it green and caused it to explode in his face.
Later, at the hospital, Norman Osborn found himself thinking clearly than ever before, not knowing that he would slowly become insane. Attempting to achieve power beyond his wildest dreams, Norman Osborn planned to become the most powerful ganglord of all by uniting all the independent gangs under his leadership in an attempt to gain control over all of New York’s crime. To prove his power and establish his reputation, he decided to choose Spider-Man as his victim of choice, and sent two criminals, the Headsman and Scorcher, after Spider-Man. The two were soundly defeated, and Norman Osborn decided to take matters into his own hands. Remembering a giant green goblin monster from childhood nightmares, he created a costume that reflected that monster, and he became the Green Goblin.
He first battled Spider-Man with the help of the Enforcers, by getting Spider-man to participate in a movie about him. Attempting to defeat him in New Mexico, he let Spider-man battle the Hulk, whose stomping grounds the Goblin, the Enforcers, and Spider-man accidentally came upon. Escaping the Hulk, Spider-man attempted to capture the Green Goblin, but was too exhausted to prevent his escape. Returning to New York, the Green Goblin easily hid amongst New York’s population. Spider-man and the Green Goblin would fight a few months later at a fan club meeting for Spider-Man. However, when Spider-Man heard that his Aunt May was extremely ill, he was forced to retreat, giving him a sour reputation by most of New York’s citizens, including several superheroes, supervillains, citizens, and, of course, J. Jonah Jameson, and giving the Green Goblin an impressive reputation. Later still, the Green Goblin would pretend to be helping the police by attempting to capture Lucky Louis, a big gang leader, and, after seeing defeat by Spider-Man, attempted a partnership with the Crimemaster, which again ended in defeat.
With every one of these defeats, the Green Goblin became more determined. In time, Osborn became totally obsessed with Spider-Man and finally began directing all of his efforts to finding a way to conquer his web-swinging adversary.
One of the biggest success in the Green Goblin’s career was learning Spider-Man’s secret identity, by utilizing a false gang that sprayed Spider-Man with a gas that nullified his spider-sense, allowing the Goblin to follow him without being detected. Capturing Spider-Man with ease, he brought him to his hideout and revealed himself to be Norman Osborn, the father of Harry Osborn, one of Peter Parker’s classmates. After gloating and revealing his past, he let Spider-Man escape his bindings, so as to prove his superiority. Spider-Man managed to defeat the Goblin by sending him into a bunch of disconnected, high-voltage wires that were drenched in chemicals. Gaining amnesia, Norman Osborn lost all memory up to the years that his son was in high school. Spider-Man, content in this knowledge, burned the Green Goblin’s costume, hoping never to see him again.
However, memories eventually returned, and the Green Goblin attempted to overcome Norman and defeat Spider-Man once more, this time with a bomb that was filled with a gas that nullified his wall-clinging ability. Spider-Man defeated him this time by landing on his back and luring him to the hospital room of Norman’s son, who was extremely ill from drug abuse. Snapped back to reality, Norman returned to normal. Somehow, though, by as-of-yet unknown means, Norman regained his memories. He nearly killed Gwen Stacy after kidnapping her and throwing her off a bridge, after which Spider-Man attempted to save her with a webline, but the “romantic idiot” killed her by applying the 1100 pounds of force required to bring her to a dead stop. Filled with rage, Spider-Man savagely attacked the Goblin, nearly killing him. He returned to his senses at the last minute, however and the Goblin took the opportunity to attempt one final play by remote controlling his goblin glider to impale the wall crawler. Spider-Man was able to dodge the glider which instead impaled the Goblin, seemingly killing him. The nightmare was over… or at least that’s what Peter thought.
Harry Osborn, Norman’s son, had witnessed the final defeat of his father at the hands of Spider-Man and removed his costume before the authorities could arrive, thus preserving his secret identity. He even bribed the coroner so that further autopsies would show no trace of the “Goblin” formula in Norman’s blood. And for many years, the world believed Norman Osborn to be dead.
After the apparent death of the Green Goblin, many tried to follow in his footsteps, including his son Harry, Harry’s therapist Bart Hamilton, Phil Urich, and millionaire Roderick Kingsley who attempted to create his own variation and legacy on the goblin motif as the murderous Hobgoblin. Each subsequent version of the goblin was defeated and Harry eventually died as a result of exposure to an untested experimental version of the formula that had given his father his abilities. Little did anyone know that Norman Osborn was in fact alive and well and putting a master plan into place that he hoped would ruin Spider-Man forever.
The same formula that had given Osborn his heightened strength and intellect also gave him powerful regenerative abilities, allowing him to survive the impalement by his goblin glider. He had escaped the morgue, replacing his body with that of a drifter he had murdered (and impaled through the chest) and fled to Europe. There he joined the Cabal of Scriers, eventually moving up in their ranks and completely taking them over. After the death of his son Harry, whom Norman believed would prove himself in his absence, Osborn accelerated a series of plans he had formulated over the past several years.
From the shadows, Osborn manipulated Empire State University Professor Miles Warren as part of a grand scheme to have Parker believe he was in fact a clone and that Ben Reilly (the real clone) was the real Peter Parker. However, with Peter’s wife Mary Jane Watson pregnant and the possibility of a life without Spider-Man on the horizon, Peter freely relinquished his alter-ego to Reilly. Unsatisfied with these results, Osborn returned as the Green Goblin revealing himself as the mastermind behind the entire fiasco and killed Ben Reilly who sacrificed himself to save Peter. Reilly’s body disintegrated, proving that Peter was in fact the real Spider-Man all along. In addition, Osborn had an employee of his, Alison Mongrain poison Mary Jane into an induced premature labor, kidnapping the child.
Osborn’s next grand scheme was to make Spider-man his heir, first drugging him into wearing the Goblin costume and attacking his friends. After days of physical and mental torture at the Osborn Estate, Peter nearly gave in, but refused at the last minute. Next, the Goblin used a drunken Flash Thompson to drive a truck into Midtown High School, where Peter had taken a job as a teacher. The accident caused Flash brain damage, and spurred Peter into a final battle with his old enemy. Although, it seemed that in some strange way Norman wanted Peter to finish him off, Peter refused saying he did not want to fight him anymore and declared a truce.
Sometime later, Norman Osborn was finally revealed to the public as the Green Goblin and after an climatic battle with Spider-Man and Luke Cage that raged across Manhattan, he was finally imprisoned. However, things were far from over.
From behind bars, Osborn once again masterminded a plan against Spider-Man. This time he had Mac Gargan, also known as the Scorpion, kidnap Peter’s Aunt May. The plan was for Spider-Man to break Osborn out of prison in exchange for his Aunt’s life. Peter reluctantly agreed and with the help of the Black Cat proceeded to break Osborn out… only to have twelve of his greatest enemies waiting for him on the outside. Osborn had assembled a Sinister Twelve, which included Mac Gargan newly bonded with the Venom symbiote. However, Mary Jane had contacted SHIELD and the villains were faced with the combined might of Captain America, Iron Man, Yellowjacket, Daredevil and the Fantastic Four. During the fracas, the Goblin had escaped to kidnap Mary Jane and took her to the George Washington Bridge in order to replay his murder of Gwen Stacy… a final act of vengeance against Spider-Man. However, a drugged Doctor Octopus intervened, attacking the Goblin. Spider-Man was able to save Mary Jane after a bolt of lightning sent the two villains into the river. Following some verbal clues from the Goblin, Peter was also able to discover where he had hidden Aunt May and rescued her as well. It is revealed that Osborn sent Peter a letter before the fight, thanking Peter for giving his life meaning and purpose, but Peter never recieved the letter due to moving from his residence.
It was later revealed that Osborn had been involved in a brief affair with Gwen Stacy which resulted in the birth of twins, Gabriel and Sarah. The twins had been taken with Osborn to Europe to be raised during his sabbatical. They rapidly aged, and developed superhuman strength and endurance. After the Goblin’s takedown, the twins confronted Spider-Man. They believed Parker to be their real father as well as responsible for killing their mother and abandoning them. Spider-Man told the twins the truth – Gabriel rejected Spider-Man, and accepted the Goblin mantle as the Gray Goblin, becoming insane in the process. After battling Spider-Man, a deranged Gabriel disappeared, while Sarah sought training to use her powers for good.
The Goblin later watches in shock as Spider-Man publicly reveals his identity as Peter Parker, railing that Peter “broke the rules!” Peter also confirms on TV that Osborn is the Goblin, and that he killed Gwen Stacy. He’s then approached by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents who are seeking his aid. When Osborn fled during his last jail break, S.H.I.E.L.D. agents picked him up outside of Paris and returned him to his jail cell under heightened security.
The Goblin confronts and attacks Ben Urich in an alley, but SHIELD’s nanomachines cause him to stop, involuntarily making him collapse and foam at the mouth.
Later he makes a deal with a shadowy figure from the pro-registration side who gives him a serum to override the control nanomachines implanted by SHIELD. The figure is indicated to be highly trusted by the superhero community, though whether he is himself a superhero is unspecified. In the next two issues, he attacks a group of Atlanteans in his Goblin gear, killing and wounding many. Later, when one of an Atlantean ambassador attempts to give a speech, Norman appears and shoots at him, wounding but not killing him. As he is being taken away by security, Norman says he is ’sick’ and is not in control of his actions. While being interrogated by two officers, Norman becomes increaingly agitated when they question who gave Norman access to the press conference AND assisted in smuggling a weapon there. At first, Norman becomes angry, threatening to kill the two officers’ families, then he becomes more and more afraid until a government figure interrupts the interview (assumed from Norman’s comments to be the man who neutralized his nano-machines) at which point Norman begs the officers not to let him go, even promising to reveal all he knows to them.
Norman Osborn is now the government appointed new director of the Thunderbolts and has been prescribed medication to stabilize his personality. He remains unbalanced, however, and prone to maniacal laughing fits. One such occourance happened after he read a file on Steel Spider. “Steel Spider, man.” (Source)
So, it’s been a while since I’ve written. I apologize, but there has been a lot of activity in my life!
I quit Dollywood back in May, and I’ve been unemployed since. I’ve applied at certain places, and never got a response. On September 29, I applied at Chick-Fil-A. I got a call back to schedule an interview. I had an interview, and was called back for a second interview on Thursday.
At that interview (which lasted over an hour), I was told the next step was a voluntary one, where they would want me to come in for a shift and observe all aspects of the job. So, last night (Friday), I started my observation at 2, and finally left the store with the employees at 11. I was somewhat apprehensious about it, but in the end was very very thankful that I got the opportunity! I’ve never wanted the job more!
Part of my observation was to write why I think I would either enjoy the job or to write why I think it’s not right for me. I wrote an entire page expressing what an honor it would be to serve amongst their team. I met some amazing people doing my observation!
So… now the next step is to check references, and then they’ll make a decision.
I’m asking for prayer. I’ve never wanted a job so bad in my life. Please pray that God will ease my anxiety about it, and ultimately pray that if I get it, that I’ll praise Him in all aspects of it.
I’ll keep you posted.
My fingers are crossed, and I’m praying hard about it!
Joie
I just saw this on a message board I frequent:
Click to enlarge it.
Some studies say the average life-span of a person in the US is 77 years (or 40 million minutes.) We decided to create an illustration that would demonstrate how much time the average Christian spends with God within this time frame. We compared the amount of time the average person spends per day getting dressed, watching tv, using the telephone and using the bathroom with the amount of time the average Christian spends with God. Then we broke these figures down into hours per month, days per year, and years in a lifetime. The big picture shows how much time is spent in a lifetime with the creator of time. The result is convicting.
(Click on the text below)
This past weekend, my mama bought me a brand-new Bible. I’ve been wanting an English Standard Version of the Bible for a long time, and I finally got one! From this point on, I’ll be using the ESV for all the bible verses on this blog. Actually, I want to go back and change all the texts to ESV on previous posts, too. But, one step at a time, lol. Enjoy.
You can search the entire ESV Bible here
When I was 10, one of the most popular entertainers was Vanilla Ice. Our family had the cassette of his album To The Extreme. We would play it non-stop on our way to and from our local skating rink. The most popular song on the album was “Ice Ice Baby.” Actually, the only other song on the album I remember was “Play That Funky Music,” a ridiculously bad version of the ’70’s original.
I remember riding in the car, on one those fortunate days we weren’t listening to Vanilla Ice, and hearing the best news that I was sure that was going to make my joy complete. The DJ announced that, for one night only, MC Hammer was coming to Knoxville with special guest Vanilla Ice! Of course me and my sister went nuts. My mom was willing to take us, or she knew she’d have it hear our whining for the rest of our lives.
Over the next few weeks, my mom got her, my sister, and me tickets to see the “U Can’t Touch This/To the Exteme” tour. My mom decided that it would be best to bring along another adult, so that we would be better watched.
The day of the concert had finally arrived. That day at school, I remember that I couldn’t concentrate. The overwhelming joy of getting to see Vanilla Ice was too much to handle. Finally, class was dismissed. Arriving at home, I threw my books aside, planned my “cool” outfit, then watched “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” until my mom came home from work.
When my mom finally arrived home from work with the other adult, and after a change from her work uniform, we were on our way to the greatest night of our lives. We stopped at East Towne Mall (as it still called then, not Knoxville Center) for some dinner. Then, we began our trek to Thompson Boling Arena on the University of Tennessee campus.
Arriving at the arena, we could sense the excitement. We parked, and we began what felt like a twenty-mile hike to the line to get in. We were in line with tickets in hand. Nothing could dampen our spirits. Nothing, that is, until we got to the doors themselves.
On the doors were posted this message: “Due to illness, Vanilla Ice will not be performing tonight. Sorry for the inconvenience.”
My ten-year-old heart was crushed. My sister was demolished. My mom was irritated that she traveled all the way to Knoxville for nothing. She marched to the ticket office and got a refund. Vanilla Ice had disappointed us, and we never listened to his album in our car again…well, all of it anyway.
The anticipation I felt to see Vanilla Ice is the same feeling the world feels for love. They wait eagerly to see love demonstrated by Christians, too often they are shown signs announcing they aren’t showing up.
There’s a lot of stuff in our world to deal with. Wars, illness, impending financial doom, and just struggles with everyday life. We need to feel comfort, acceptance, and love. As Christians, we are commanded to love.
Too often, we as Christians show love to other Christians and we forget to show it to those people who don’t know Christ. Something we are all guilty of is thinking that someone else will show them, or it’s not our responsibility. A common thought is “that’s why we have preachers.” We living in uncertain times. People need Christ. People need to see that times may be tough, but Christ brings peace. “The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding” (Phlippians 4:7). Hebrews 13:1-3, “Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body.“
One way to exemplify the love of the Christ, is to live a pure life. James 1:27, “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” Tim Huie writes:
Like it or not, lost people are looking at our lives. They want to know if we are genuine. And let’s face it: that lost loved one or neighbor that you’re concerned about? They are probably scrutinizing your life looking for a reason NOT to believe! How can we convince them that what we have is real? That’s exactly what James is going to tell us about today!
You may be the only Christ someone sees. Don’t let people think He’s not showing up, then let them leave wih disappointment.
